Dear Sister

There is so much I want to say, but in the end I can't seem to put down the words right. Just know that I love you and Happy Birthday.


See you later.

Cars, Mars, and Canning jars

So, I'm now in the after GRE period. I took my test. I studied. I did okay. I wanted to to better and I probably could have, but it is just what happens. I blame jet lag and I blame myself that I could have gone that extra hour a day, but it is over :).

During my GRE time I ate healthy and was organized. After coming back I cheated more with chocolate than I should have... It is time to be mean again and settle down to my writing schedule and no more chocolate cheating. What is the used of eating all these fruits and veggies during the day if I just eat chocolate at night? lol

Tonight I'm not having my tuna without a side of chocolate... Sad? Yeah a little, but I remember how I felt when I was off of it. So I'll just think of that :).
Also I'm going to deep clean and organize my apartment. I can't live in that for six months. I need a good environment not only for my health, but for my writing.

Beeswax and a Choppin' Ax...

I'm in the middle of a battle, or war... Focusing on my writing has become a battle and my apartment is a war-zone! This morning I was going to flesh out my character a bit and since I woke up at 7 I would have all day to do this and finish... or so I thought... Here is how my day went:

7am Wake up and pretend to be asleep so my dog doesn't notice.
7:10 My dog notices.
8am Settle down on my computer and start getting details about their lives sorted out.
8:30 FACEBOOK
9am Trying to think of a meaningful name for a character.
9:30 Get antsy and have a random dance party to Blonde in my apartment and scare my dog...
9:45 Write a few sentences and then delete them.
10am FACEBOOK
10:15 Yell at myself for wasting time and sit down for the rest of the hour and write.
11:15 Braid my dogs tail... He was NOT happy...
11:30 Delete what I wrote.
11:35 Dance Party to Britney Spears... And scare my dog again.
11:50 Check my email.
12:00 AWESOME PHONE CALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1:45 Pick up my burritos :D.
2:30 Look over what I did today and write a few more sentences.
2:45 I like these sentences and then I decide to blog.
3pm Mentally yelling at myself and going to go write a good 500 words even if it kills me.


So that has been my day :D. I still have a few hours left to write so I don't feel terrible yet... haha.

One of the hard lessons in life....

I wanted to go to Japan. I bought the ticket and I was about to book a place to stay. Then I had to really think about it. I just got back from the states. I spent too much money, but I'm still in good shape.
However, going to Japan is something I just can't afford right now. It saddens me, but I know I shouldn't spend money I don't have. It also falls around a bad time in which I have to have more than half of my grad apps due. So the money I used to buy the ticket? Well, it is going to grad apps. I just hope I get in now. The timing just didn't work out.

It is always about money... ugh.

Chickpeas and Dirty Knees.

I'm back in Korea and so far it has been a rough two days. When I first started to travel my jet lag wasn't too bad. Now, it hits me with a brutal force every time. I feel like I'm swimming in my head, my body is sore, and I just want to sleep. Also this time I got a fun little clot. Now I'm taking blood thinners and I get to go get tested again on Thursday. No danger. It isn't serious. The doctors always tell me that here... They never think my pain is worth anything lol.
But good new... My blood pressure is normal... I guess being sleepy is good for it or something. Oh well, Now that I'm back I have to be healthy again. I'm actually doing good. The old me would have eaten every snack I brought back from America in the time of one hour. I have yet to touch anything, but a mini candy bar. I'm telling myself it is okay to eat something I like as long as I don't be a complete pig about it... Working so far! I suppose I'll have to put tuna or something in my mac and cheese... LAME!

So this summer camp is a bit different from what I am used too. Last year my school bought the books and I just taught and had lots of desk-warming time. This year my school is only having 4 days of summer camp, but we have to make the materials. The teachers are having me draw 24 world maps. I told them that I'm not good at drawing so hopefully they are too disappointed about how awful they look. I tried to make a pattern and trace... Apparently the world is hard to trace. I wish they would just spend the few dollars and buy some maps.
Also I'm writing the scripts for the conversation next week. This I like. I would rather write than draw any day.
I also have babysitting. Today they wanted to add another babysitting class, but when I went they told me to go downstairs. There wasn't another class. It was my 3 o'clock class. So I went away and called my coteacher. So, the head of teachers is going to come and tell me what is going on sometime today. He doesn't speak English and he thinks I understand korean... This will be interesting. I really wish they could be more organized, but I would just be wasting thoughts.
After this week, I hope I will be over this jet lag and I can start my writing samples. I need to be finished after I get back from Japan so I can send a sample to my references. Maybe they will get a second draft...
Anyone want to edit? ;)

Sing a Song?

"Principal said English Teachers are good singers."

After I heard this, I knew I was in trouble.

A school that is next to ours had a music festival for their schools birthday. The principal from my school went. She thought, "Out school is better than that school and we can do more than they can."

So on October 1st (a saturday and a three day weekend that I was looking forward to, not anymore I guess haha), we are having a sports day in the morning and a musical festival in the afternoon and also my drama class will be performing.

The best part is... I have to be in the teachers choir. I'm a little scared about this... Not the singing part, but the 'when we are practicing part'. If they practice during the school day... Fine, I'll sing my heart out, but if they hold me here after school. I will be one grumpy singer haha. It is times like this where I hate causing a problem. It is just I can't stay late, because I have to get home to let my dog out and to feed him. Otherwise he will pee all over and sometimes vomit if he doesn't get food.

When I tell this to a Korean they say, "He isn't a child." I reply, "Yeah, I know. If he was... He probably could feed himself and let himself out." dur.

Also, since I've been here I know how they put things off until the last minute... So maybe there won't even be a lot of practicing...

This is how the sun shines.

Last night after getting back from Seoul I was in a mood for a movie. As I paged through my DVDs I saw an old favorite, "Little Miss Sunshine."

As I watched this movie again I thought about what made it so great. Usually in movies there is a problem and then it is solved and everyone is happy. In this movie all the problems of the characters were still there in the end, but they kept on. It showed a part of this families life and their struggles with living and with each other.

I guess the main thing I like is how real it is to life. It shows people at their best and worse. It shows that lifes problems can't be solved in an instant, but sometimes we do something right and then our problems seem less for a bit.

Sometimes it is good to have those movies that give us the "awwww I'm happy cause the boy got the girl and they are together," or the "Yay! The hero killed the bad guy!" Then it is good to have those movies, that show a bit of ourselves in them.

---------

Sillyness

There has been a lot of sillyness going on this week... I don't want to call it crazyness, because I just need to laugh it off lol.

Some good sillyness is coming from my dog Casanova. He is so funny. He is scared of a lot of things. His major fear however, are large umbrellas. If I am walking with him and my umbrella he tries to get as far away as possible. If I need to stand under the umbrella while outside waiting for him to pee... He won't go. He waits until I put it away. I guess it is fair that we both get wet... haha. Yesterday I had to dry out my umbrella and I left it open in the doorway by his food. I was going to be nice and move his food away, but I told him that he can stop being a chicken and just eat by the umbrella. To my amusement he would grab a mouthful of food and run away to his bed and eat it there. So that is how he ate last night. Grab some food run away from the umbrella and eat it by his bed. I think he wondered why I was laughing at him :D.

Some crazy sillyness has been all about my principal this week. She is a super micro manager and all my coteachers are getting really frazzled since they have to deal with her. It has been about the English library all week...

So in this new library the moms are going to come in the afternoon and help me with the children. So they need their own computer and desk. There was an extra computer down on the second floor so my co teacher asked if they could use it. They got the okay. The computer guy came and they were hooking it up. Then the principal came up and was freaking out! No one told her that they were moving the computer. So she throws a fit and the computer guy has to take it back down to the second floor. She told my co teacher that we can get the computer, but she has to ask again tomorrow.

Second she was angry because there was a small partition blocking my desk from view from the outside. You can just see my head but everything else is blocked. She was mad because she wants everyone to see me... Um they could, but whatever.

Yesterday there were problems too. We were trying to move around my desk and the mom's desk. The principal wanted it a certain way, but it wasn't working. So the mom's found a better way, but we aren't allowed to move our desks until the principal checks the room. (we would be moving the desk about 1 foot forward, but still we must ask lol).

Last week she was mad about the special English play. In the play there wasn't enough English and it was kindof silly. However, she wanted to get the cheapest one. Now she is mad that it was bad. I guess no one ever told her that you get what you pay for...

Last the students were going on a feild trip to a bunch of different places. That morning principal had a dream about an accident and canceled the trip. Poor kids.


So in the end be Casanova silly and not principal silly ;). People will like you more for it!

It is good...

Sometimes I wonder if it is worth it to study all these words. To just learn all these for a test seems pointless. Why bother? It is good to see that when I take a practice test I recognize the words and I can confidently pick out the answer. It is good when I read a book and I see the words being used. It helped me to see that even though some of the words I know I'll probably never use or see again there are a great deal of them I can and should use when I am writing.
So I'm trying to not just memorize for a test now, I'm trying to memorize to improve my craft... A much more worthy goal for me :).
After the test I want to continue to learn new words. So lucky for me there are so many word a day apps out there. I don't want to try and cram twenty new words in a day like I'm doing now, but if I can learn or just read about one new word a day I think that will be fun.

After the test it will be time to really get serious about my grad school applications. I'll have 4 months to finish editing stories and writing purpose statements. If I don't get in... I guess I have to try and find a job in America somewhere. Then try again next year. I guess if I don't get in two years in a row I'll look for some other way to do something I love.

The Principal's Office

Getting called to the principal's office is never a good thing. In some ways it feels worse when you are a teacher. I think it has to do with having to be more responsible... or something... ;).

Anyway, One of my coteachers came in during my lunch and said the principal wanted to see all the English teachers. I was thinking that this was about "turning off the air con."

When we got down there I could see that the principal wasn't very happy. Since I had to be there... I was sure it involved me somehow.

So apparently during my canceled afternoon class a student hurt themselves. I was home sick and I called in and such. But some students didn't get the message I guess. I believed that since they were making such a big deal out of it, that the student hurt themselves in the classroom. Since ALL the English teachers were there to talk with the principal.

One of my co teachers told me the principal was trying to find out whose fault it was... Later on in the conversation we found out the kid hurt themselves in the bathroom by standing on the toilet-paper rack and it broke. The kid's leg scraped on something and got a deep cut (about 20 cm) and needed stitches.

Now, lets look at the story. The kid hurt themselves in the BATHROOM. I am pretty sure that it is a GOOD thing that we don't watch our students pee. They are looking for someone to blame? Ummmm how about the student?

Well, that is just silly. It is my coteachers fault for not filling out paperwork that I was sick.

That's right. Because she didn't fill out paperwork... The boy stood on a toilet-paper rack and hurt himself.

Oh my gas range this is silly...

Such a Charming Man.

This morning I woke up too early and before my alarm. This was a good thing for my dog Casanova since that meant a little more walking time in the morning. So he was doing his thing and this guy walks up and starts clicking his tongue at him. Now, a friend and I have talked about this and we both hate it. It is really distracting for my dog (who loves everyone) to try and poop and then someone is trying to get his attention. This causes my dog to jump up in the middle of pooping and then that gets poop on his hair... guess who gets to cut that out? Not the people clicking their tongues...
Also I get annoyed when people pet him while he is pooping... Come on... How would you like to be touched while doing your thing?

Anyways back to my new friend. He clicking at my dog and then he asked where I was from. I told him "the U.S." He asked me if I spoke korean and I said no. So he starts going through his bag. I just follow my dog and let him wander a bit. My dog is now walking off and I follow and the man yells "Hey Hey" I say "Goodbye" and follow my dog and pick up his second poo. While I'm doing that the man catches up and pulls out a paper with people who have really bad acne. Then he points to my face...

Ummmm. I don't care what culture you are from. It is rude to go up to a stranger on the street and point at their acne. I would also like to say that mine isn't as bad as those pictures. So I wave him away and he is trying to get me to sit at some tables. Right now I'm picking up dogs poop and I'm not in the mood to have someone pointing at my face. I say goodbye again and he follows with a "Hey hey!" Sadly my dog has to poop for the THIRD time and I have to stop and pick it up. The man runs over and then trips on my poor dog (who was actually standing still). Casanova runs over to me with his ears back. I glare at the man and comfort my dog.

The man says, "Here sit sit."

I say, "I have no time."

While I walk into my building I hear,"Hey, hey!"

I wonder if this charming man is single? ugh.

This is what I'm doing. I hope it is enough.

Last week I had to get more serious about the GRE. I've been working on my 250 word pack at school, but I haven't gotten near my 500 pack. So last week I set a goal for 20 words a day and then review all my old words. I stuck to it and I'm 100 words richer. So even with just those added words I've been doing great on my practice tests. So I though I should try the Math tests... I got only the geometry questions right. I bombed the Algebra and Arithmetic. Then came Data Analysis... I don't want to think about that one... So since I'm doing okay in Verbal I have to take a look at improving my Math so I don't look like a complete idiot.

I started looking for tutors. All the good ones are way to expensive for my budget, but I found a sight that will give me 20 hours for $160. They started out at $200, but went down when I said I wouldn't sign on right away. I don't get to talk to them. It is just using white board and typing, but it is better than nothing so I start next week. One hour each day at school.

I'm also doing pratice at Number2. com and I'm signing up on another online sight that just cost $10, but they have the best practice tests and they explain the answers really well.
So at school I spend 2 hours after class with practice tests and online study. Then I'll have an hour with my tutor.

Get home it is vocab time. Then it is writing time for the GRE. Luckly they post all 200 questions for the Issue Essay. I'm going to start making notes on those so I can have some prepared argument. If I get lucky I'll get a question that I prepared for... It is also good to read the news which is probably the easiest part of studying.

The next 5 weeks is all about the GRE. This is the most studying I have EVER done for anything. The ACT I didn't study at all. The first time I took the GRE I didn't crack a book. Sure both times I still did above adverage, but I want to do better. I've been out of college for some time. The way I lost my my skills scares me. I was in advanced math in High School... What happened?!

Here I go!!!!!!!

Okay being mean is working. This weekend it was easy cause I had plenty of time to do studying and such and do what I want. During the week it gets hard. So I'm going back to what worked in college. I should have done this sooner. I plotted out my free hours at night.

In the afternoon at school I never have anything to do. So after the next pay day I'm getting a mic so I can do skype tutoring at school for the GRE. This will work out well. I usually have 3 hours free almost every day. I'm bringing my notebook so I can start outlines for my stories at school and flesh them out on the computer at home. I should have done this sooner. I remember when I was writing more in college I would always handwrite first and that made it way better. Then in any extra time I'll keep at the vocab words.

Now when I get home I have an hour to work out and walk the dog. At six I will learn my next twenty words and review the old ones. Then around 7 (depending how long review takes since as you get more and more words memorized it takes longer and I got a nice little stack now ;P). I'll take 30 minutes for my guitar so I don't forget the songs I've learned. I hope I can get back to lessons after I send in my applications in the fall. Then after that I will read and write. The best thing for a writer besides write is read. And lastly before I go to bed I review the new twenty that I learned that day.

I'm writing all this out because it makes it more real. Makes it happen. Promises to myself to just do better.

So I know that when I take the GRE or send in my stories for school, I will know I did my best. No regrets :).

I need to be mean.

In less than two months I will be taking the GRE. In six months I will be sending off my little applications to graduate schools. I've been doing okay with ideas and studying, but right now it still isn't enough.

I need to be mean to myself. Higher goals for the end of each week. Almost impossible to meet. Bring it!

It's like this....

You keep swimming. You don't know where you are going and you don't see land, but you swim. Sometimes you can't breath and your arms move slower. Then in a moment you are back on the surface and you can take in air and it fills you... Completes you. In those few moments, you think, "Yes, I can keep swimming."

Some Things

These last two weeks of eating healthy was hard... I really really like chocolate... haha. It was time for me to do something, because I couldn't even think and it was scaring me. Since last fall I noticed that most days it was like I was in a dream state. First I thought I needed water, then I thought I needed meat. Now... since I gave up my unhealthy snacks... I feel like I'm awake. No more sugar coma for me!

So in the end it has been easier to give up things that aren't good for me. I can focus better on my stupid vocab words and I just feel better :).

Also I'm headed up on my third year here. The first year in Korea I pretty much saw all there was to see in Korea. My second year I shopped. I did visit Taiwan, China, Thailand, and Cambodia. I really always felt like I should see Japan since I'm so freaking close. So I looked at my long weekend in September and said, "Why not?" I looked up tickets and they are cheap! I'm doing this... I'm going to Japan. I'm also going by myself... Yikes!

Writing A.D.D.

I have been working on three story ideas for grad school. They are still in the beginning. I write notes some sentences here and there then work on a little outline. They are decent ideas, and I do need to turn in three stories to Iowa. I wish I could just focus on one, but I must do three. This should be good and then for my other schools I have three to choose from to send in... Wait a minute... That could be good or bad thing... hahaha.

Now, I have a bigger problem. It all started with a dream I had about two nights ago. It was very interesting. I thought about it all day and now it is turning into a story. A more exciting story and a story that can't be less than 30 pages. Also I'm sure that grad schools wouldn't want it...

So today that was what I was working on. I'm hoping I'll just put down enough notes so I can just come back to it later in November after I sent in my other stories. Or I guess it could be good to work on a fantasy/zombie book to distract me from the stress. It is good practice anyway. This could help the other stories in the long run. It is much more fun to write about water zombies... heehee.

It really doesn't change... ha

So I've been feeling really proud of myself with the whole VIP lunch thing. Since I wasn't looking forward to 30 minutes of me asking questions and getting one word answers I solved the problem. Lets play a game and talk at the same time! It worked great the kids got into the game and we were able to talk a bit and it wasn't awkward... or so I thought.

I have learned when a teacher comes to talk to me 10 minutes before it is time for me to leave it means trouble. So she comes in and tells me that the principal asked a few students how they like the VIP lunch. They said the game was fun but they wanted more chances to talk... ummmm...

Mayyyyyybe if I was a new teacher I would try something else... haha, but this is the same complaint I get over and over. They want more opportunities to talk with me. I. Am. Tired. Of. This.

I tell my classes at least once a week that I am always in my office after school 4 hours of nothing. I tell them "Come and see me!" Do they? No.

Also they don't talk. Even while we play a game. I ask them questions and some just giggle behind their hand. The don't talk. They want to talk to me?! THEN SAY SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is the same story over and over. Do they realize that if they want to talk they have to talk? Do they know I have over 400 students and I can't just pick a few myself? They have to make an effort. Everything is always done for them. It is time for them to grow up a bit.

Now instead of having fun small talk I have to sit with them and try and make them talk. Ugh longest 30 minutes ever.

My co teacher said, "Just ask them what their dream is." Yeah thanks co teacher... That fills up a whole minute.

Also why is it that when a few complain we listen? Why didn't the principal go with the other students? You can't make everyone happy.

Green light... Go! Red light... Stop?

From viewing facebook and other status updates from people in Korea... I have seen one thing mentioned a lot more than others... The Bus.

When I was a young fresh faced American who had just got to Korea I got on my first bus... Oh I mean to say I staggered onto my first bus since the bus started to move before I even sat down. I sat wide eyed and in my head all I could think was "I'm going to die. I'm going to die on a bus. No, we are going to kill someone. I will be part of a murder" As the bus rocked and rolled like a roller coster. I got a bit sick. As the bus ran through the red lights I frantically turned my head to see if any cars would hit us. At the end of the ride I had to wobble over to the door while the bus was still moving so I could get out the INSTANT the bus stopped...

Now...
This morning as I smiled with glee as my awesome bus driver ran about 10 red light. He sped down the turn lanes (not planning to turn just using it to get ahead of the cars). I would cheer in my head when he honked at a car who was in front of us. I'd glare when he stopped at a red light. What is he doing? Red lights aren't for stopping!

This morning I realised that when I go back to America I might have some problems in traffic.

Banana Runts

I have been reading another blog about a girl in Korea and I love the way she states things. It is very entertaining. Sometimes I wish I could write like her and be able to make every story in my life a funny/interesting one. I guess it is a bit easier here with the different cultures clashing, but I find that I tend to rush out the story so I can get to the punch line, so everyone can enjoy the story too... However, you need the story and not just the ending... Reading over my writing I can tell where I really enjoyed writing a part and where I rushed something to just get to the next one... The solution... To LOVE all the parts! ha yeah... I'll work on that.

To tell a little story about how things are going at my new school I will introduce you to my new coteachers. Who are fresh and wide-eyed out of college. They are looking to me to know what is going on and I have told them many a time that I'm the last person who knows anything. I just make up my own rules and that has been working wonderously :D. They don't agree. One teacher I will call Sunny and the other Young.

Sunny has somehow lost a game of rock scissors paper and is the teacher in charge of me. I did ask if she lost with Young and she insisted that it was assigned... Yeah Sunny like I'm falling for that one ;). She is really fun to tease and poor thing is an easy target which just gets me going. I wish I wasn't like that and that I wouldn't tease those easy targets, but IT IS JUST TOO GOOD. I don't even have to try hard...

Sunny: This is peach ice tea you can make it.
Me: Just add water?
Sunny: Yes, a little hot water to mix then some cold.
Me: Then it is warm tea not ice...

Then she looks at my serious face (which is the key) and I give her a few seconds and laugh. "Oh you stop tease me!"

Maybe I should say that even the littlest bit of sarcasim gets lost here and it can be either fun or annoying, but right now I'm having fun with it. All in all Sunny is a good soul and I feel bad for her already with having to put up with me.

Young is interesting she is the same age as me, but I feel like she is much older. She always comes into my office (first takes a look at my computer screen ;) )and plans the lessons (big change for my old school and a nice one). She likes to stay and talk with me, but after awhile it gets awkward cause I have nothing else to say... Well I have things to say, but not things I want the whole school to know. They aren't bad things, but when you tell one korean you tell them all and it is weird having someone come up to you the next day and mention a conversation that you had with someone else. It is weird and I don't like it. So I keep conversations to the bare minimum and I don't really say much of interest... However.

Korean co teacher: You get lonely sometimes?
Me: Yeah around Christmas I guess. It was hard last year.
KCT: Ah I see

Next day

Young: You are really lonely.
Me: Huh?
Young: KCT said you are lonely.
Me: Oh yeah... Christmas...

Now the hot topic is my dog Casanova... hahaha. I am interesting. Didn't you know?

So many reasons to smile!

Last week was looooooooooooooooooooong... It wasn't good it wasn't bad it was blah. Last week I kept saying that I just need to get to the next one and I was right, it is Monday (the worst day in the world) and I am having a good one and here are the reasons....

1. All of a sudden the 5th graders have been little angels... I don't know why and I won't question it. The first two weeks they were like the walking dead. Now they are excited about class and they want to take part in everything... Even writing pratice. I didn't think it would keep going, but today is my dreaded 5th grade day and even I had fun... Now that is a reason so smile!

2. They are canceling my VIP lunch and instead I meet with them after lunch time and we will talk and play games. I like this better because.... I get overtime for this since it is class-like and I don't have to try and make conversation in a loud dinning hall. Also we get snacks ;). Now that is a reason to smile!

3. I'm going to America in July. I really can't wait. Yes yes I love Korea, but it is AMERICA... I love America... Call me a dork or whatever or a evil consumer hahah I don't really care. I am going to eat Qdoba and it will be awesome. I will see my mom and dad and my awesome family. Then I get to see my friends. Now that is a reason to smile!

4. In my GRE cards I have a small small stack of words I already know ;). hahahaha now that is a reason to smile!

5. I have a room to myself in the school. For now it is empty and not a soul is in here. This is great for me. When I finish my lesson plans I won't feel guilty about reading or studying. Now that is a reason to smile.

6. There is a great friend that I have here in Korea. I am ashamed to say I haven't been the best friend to her lately. She calls me on it and I can only hope to get better. Now that is a reason to smile!

7. I have had Kalguksu/Shabu Shabu 2 times in two weeks and I'm eating it again tonight! Now THAT it is a reason to smile!

8. I have my own computer at the school and it has internet! NOW THAT IS A REASON TO SMILE!!!!

There are many more so this Monday is a bit different from others. This week is already better and last week is done. I don't need to think about it anymore, but move forward keeping my reasons close :).


Now it is your turn to smile!

Will I be saved from my banality?

Today's word of the day will be banality meaning lack of originality... It isn't that I don't believe that the ideas I have for my stories aren't original it is just how they sound. I want my writing to sound fresh and not to sound boring. I want to give my ideas the breath of life. They need to breathe :).

This week wasn't the best for my writing. I have had a headache for most of this week and I'm not surprised that now that it is Friday my headache is now gone... It could be the thoughts of this weekend finally releasing my aching head, but I think the end of the stress is in sight.

I am hopeful for next week. I will finally have a little bit of space for myself where everyone can't read what I'm writing on my computer or see what I see. I hate having no privacy. Even though the room I move too might not be quiet, but I looked in and they build a whole privacy screen around the desk... awesome!

I have some doubts about what I call the "babysitting room" which is to be my new home at school. I'm not really excited about watching little kids, even though they say I don't have to watch them and that I just have to answer their questions, I'm a little uncomfortable with it.

My school is turning into a hogwan and I don't know how I feel about this.

I realised that I long for quiet. I didn't know how loud my coworkers can talk. I feel like they yell everything and try to talk over eachother all the time. I don't want to sound umm anti feminist, but some women talk way too much and there are 5 women in this small office. I have never been happier for my ipod, but I have to turn it up so high to drown out the voices I don't know the damage that will happen to my ears hahah. I miss my old quiet classroom, but maybe my babysitting room will be better. I can have hope. I can.

In other news I'm excited about a book that I started to write last year. I like having a lot of different projects at one time, and if I get bored with one I can always move to the next one as long as I keep writing... right? :)

I like this distopia book, they are always some of my favorite books to read and I really like mine. The idea is sound and the world is coming together. I'm having a problem with the science part of it, but I'm hoping I can work that out or try to downplay it or dum da dum... Do science research which is what I will end up doing. YIKES!

Anyways I'm tired of changing windows at my computer so no one reads over my shoulder. So lunch time is over anyways and back to work!

Am I getting better?

I'm starting my third year of teaching English in Korea. Some still may be shocked because they know about my grammar struggles and spelling issues ;). However, I have made it through and from the start at the small acadamy to this new shiny public school I can only say that I'm getting better...

I can remember my first panic filled days at the hogwan. I had no idea what I was doing or how to teach anything. I talked to fast and I lost my voice. I always had extra time on my hands and I just got tired of trying to entertain the little children.

My next year at public school I still didn't really know what I was doing, but one coteacher showed me how to be an amazing teacher. How to pick games that weren't only fun, but actually made them learn. How to have fun, but pull out the teacher face when I needed it. He was a great teacher and I admired him because he strives to do better at his job when others just do the same things.

This year when I started I may have been tired, but I left that outside the classroom. When I enter the room the students are called to attention. They listen, they work hard, and then we play hard and this time I have learned when we do activities I do them with them and try to have just as much fun :). So far I have gotten many compliments about my energy in class. Maybe some of the teachers find that hard to believe because when I arrive in the morning I'm tired tired tired.... But I manage to find it in me to open the classroom doors, put a smile on, and a bounce in my step. I do this because I remember all the teachers that have worked hard to teach me and I really do owe it to them to do a decent job of it.

Each time the kids learn more and I learn more. This year may be the most tiring, but I think it will be my best work yet.

Look at me! I'm VIP!

I like the sound of the title... ha a little rhyme for you.... and you will find out just why I'm a VIP in a bit ;).

This morning was a rush of good news. They worked out the vacation time for me so I can go home and so I signed up for the GRE test. It will be so good to be back in America even if it is only for about two weeks. I signed up for the test and then ordered 750 vocab cards to study.... Weeee it is study time for me. Lets see if my vocab improves hahaha.

Anyways back to the main reason for this post. My co worker told me that she needed to talk to me. I alway get a little scared about this because when they say that, they look scared.... I guess they have heard about some foreingers that don't handle things too well or they are scared I will be upset. Anyways since my school is really into English (what school isn't here?) they have set up some special programs....

Introducing the VIP lunch with the English Teacher! So every day starting in April I will be eating with three students. I am to eat with them for 30 minutes (since I usually finish lunch early so I can do other things that was the only really annoying part). When my co worker told me I just laughed. It is kindof funny really... They are going to prepare special snacks, I guess, and I need to try and make these poor kids talk to me when they would probably rather eat with their friends and speak Korean. Also it is ironic that the principal told everyone that we aren't allowed to talk during lunch... Well I guess unless you are a VIP, yeah, that's right!

One thing... I don't really want the students to see my eating habits at school. I don't eat a big lunch so they assume I don't like korean food. I don't want to seem snobby to them... You know, like I don't want to eat their food... It is just that I can't eat a huge pile of rice and loads of cabbage. This is going to be interesting....

All in all I think this is odd, but hey I go with the flow I think that is why they like me over here...

The next extra thing I'll be doing is that student will write me letters and I am supposed to correct the mistakes and send them back.

These things are good, but I'm wondering if they count towards overtime... since it isn't teaching... It is a bit confusing.... Anyways I guess being a VIP I can figure it all out.

(I really hope my co worker was serious about special snacks for the VIP hahaha)

Ummm did you just throw poop at me?

Let me start out by saying that in my aparment building there is this old ajuma cleaner and she is kind of crazy. I usually catch her yelling to herself and throwing trash around. When I run into her (most every morning) I avoide eye contact and pretend I don't exsist.

Now I've had my dog for almost a year. I've got him potty trained to go outside. Every morning we go out and I pick up his poop in a plastic bag and tie it shut. Then I throw it away in the bathroom garbage (not the recyling, but in the bathroom trash where, trust me, there are nastier things than my dogs poop). I have been doing this for a looooong time.

Then this morning I threw it away and I saw the ajuma cleaner go into the bathroom after I came out. I was waiting for the elevator and pretending I wasn't there (as usual when I see her). Then I saw something go whizzing by my feet. It was my dogs poop. I kept staring straight ahead and the ajuma starting yelling at me in korean. The elevator door opened and I calmly walked in with her screaming in the background.

Thankfully she never saw my face. It was a mixture of anger and shock. What kind of person throws poop at someone? On my way down I took the stairs to avoide her. What will I do? I see her almost every morning. If she wanted me to do something different she could have said something... oh maybe about 10 months ago... or asked me to get a korean on the phone to explain the problem.

I honestly hope I am never that bitter and angry so I would revert to a animal state (thinking monkey with the whole poop thing) and throw things at people without trying to find a better solution.

I told my coteacher and asked what I did wrong and they said I did nothing wrong since it was a general trash can. They said if she yells at me again that I should call them.... Oh my. Now I have to see the poop throwing ajuma every morning... great... just great....

Let me freak out a bit.... Okay better.

I found some grad schools that I want to apply to. It is easy to get overwelmed looking at all the things you need to do. The GRE is the main one. If I have to take the test again I will have to go to Japan... That will be an adventure. An adventure that I really don't want to think about at the moment.

I was looking at a school that I wanted to go to for some time. I then noticed that some of the requirements for entry have changed. I will need 3 short stories that are around 30-40 pages, but I can't go over 100 pages total. ummmm YIKES! YIKES! YIKES! After reading that all I can do is frantilcally pound on my keyboard and hope for some genuis to fly out across the keys. This is insane. I feel insane. My deadline is November and I need pages and pages of work.

The only thought that keeps in my mind.... After I apply to all these grad schools... What if I don't get into any of them? What will I do? I will be in the states again when I find out. I'm scared. Very scared. This is a big turning point and I have left myself unarmed. Not ready. If I don't get in... I don't know. I guess that will be a new adventure and who knows I may end up better for it. But that is for March 2012 me to worry about. March 2011 me needs to write write write. Then edit edit edit. Fill my mind let the words fall out as they may.

Man I'm tense maybe this stress will make a runner out of me. I never thought I would want to exercise ha.

My new short story I'm working on has been tumbling around in my mind for a few days. Since I now know I'll need THREE stories I want to try to make them all a bit different, but me. Maybe a humorous one, twisted one, and heartwarming one.... weee lets do this!

Shaaaa--BANG

All new starts are rough. Most nights I watch tv show after tv show until it is too late and I go to bed. Today, I was starting something new. I am actually pretty proud of myself. I only watched 40 minutes of tv today... Whooo yay me! I finished a book, drug my dog outside, and played my dusty guitar. I want to try and play my guitar everyday this month.I want to regain ground so I can go back to lessons in April... We'll see how the money thing works out.

As far as writing ha, that is taking time. One bad sentence at a time. I hammer those buggers out in some fierce editing :).

Anyways things are pretty crazy at my school. I always think that things aren't really that bad, but sometimes my coworkers like to just make it a bit dramatic. Really. That is all I'll say hahaha.

I have some great sixth graders this year. Last year the sixth grade didn't care... at all. This year they are... dum dum dum.... Asking questions! What??????? They are really fun and I am hoping with all my heart strings that they will stay this way. So I'm trying extra hard to stay motivated during class. Their English is awesome too. They understand me! What??????????? hahaha
In my 6-2 class there is this sweet boy that sits in the front and I swear his attention never wavers. He takes it all in. He also helps me move desks and is just a sweetheart in general. It is times like this when I actually wish I could talk to the moms and say what a wonderful child they have. Really. I wish I could.

As for the fifth... yeah.... I have nothing to say.... hahaha

What have I done?

As I finished the last few weeks at my old school. I was trying to think of the things I said I would do this last year...

Save money
Eat Healthy
Write everyday
Look for Grad schools

A year is a long time. That is what I always tell myself. I have time. The truth is that my time is running out. If I want to get into grad school next fall I have to apply THIS fall. I have to get down to it. I have to force myself. How did I become this way? haha I know... I was always this way. I put things off cause I could. I could get away with last minute papers and projects because somehow I just could. I never had to study hard for tests and actually memorizing lines for plays wasn't that hard for me. I am lazy.

Somehow I don't think that the grad schools I want to get into will be interested in my last minute stories. I have to edit and put the hard work into something new. I know what I can do when I try and work hard. I have seen some awesome things that I have done... (yes I will brag a bit haha). I know the work I do can be good. I don't want good. I want great. The characters I created deserve it. The people who I love deserve it. I deserve it.

I let my talent get really really rusty. It is hard for me to just put down a sentence and I am super frustrated that I let myself get this way. After all the work I did my last two years of college to get my writing where it should be....

I can't think about that. It is done. It can only go up from here and I would be embarassed if anyone read anything I wrote now. I have 7 to 8 months. NOT ENOUGH TIME. This is how it ended up.

So instead of watching TV at school, I'm going to read (really the best thing besides writing for a writer). Instead of watching TV at home, I'm going to walk my dog and then write.

I need to get this old brain working again ;). Got some awesome ideas for grad school. Maybe I'll post them hahah whoo!