What have I done?

As I finished the last few weeks at my old school. I was trying to think of the things I said I would do this last year...

Save money
Eat Healthy
Write everyday
Look for Grad schools

A year is a long time. That is what I always tell myself. I have time. The truth is that my time is running out. If I want to get into grad school next fall I have to apply THIS fall. I have to get down to it. I have to force myself. How did I become this way? haha I know... I was always this way. I put things off cause I could. I could get away with last minute papers and projects because somehow I just could. I never had to study hard for tests and actually memorizing lines for plays wasn't that hard for me. I am lazy.

Somehow I don't think that the grad schools I want to get into will be interested in my last minute stories. I have to edit and put the hard work into something new. I know what I can do when I try and work hard. I have seen some awesome things that I have done... (yes I will brag a bit haha). I know the work I do can be good. I don't want good. I want great. The characters I created deserve it. The people who I love deserve it. I deserve it.

I let my talent get really really rusty. It is hard for me to just put down a sentence and I am super frustrated that I let myself get this way. After all the work I did my last two years of college to get my writing where it should be....

I can't think about that. It is done. It can only go up from here and I would be embarassed if anyone read anything I wrote now. I have 7 to 8 months. NOT ENOUGH TIME. This is how it ended up.

So instead of watching TV at school, I'm going to read (really the best thing besides writing for a writer). Instead of watching TV at home, I'm going to walk my dog and then write.

I need to get this old brain working again ;). Got some awesome ideas for grad school. Maybe I'll post them hahah whoo!