It's like this....

You keep swimming. You don't know where you are going and you don't see land, but you swim. Sometimes you can't breath and your arms move slower. Then in a moment you are back on the surface and you can take in air and it fills you... Completes you. In those few moments, you think, "Yes, I can keep swimming."

Some Things

These last two weeks of eating healthy was hard... I really really like chocolate... haha. It was time for me to do something, because I couldn't even think and it was scaring me. Since last fall I noticed that most days it was like I was in a dream state. First I thought I needed water, then I thought I needed meat. Now... since I gave up my unhealthy snacks... I feel like I'm awake. No more sugar coma for me!

So in the end it has been easier to give up things that aren't good for me. I can focus better on my stupid vocab words and I just feel better :).

Also I'm headed up on my third year here. The first year in Korea I pretty much saw all there was to see in Korea. My second year I shopped. I did visit Taiwan, China, Thailand, and Cambodia. I really always felt like I should see Japan since I'm so freaking close. So I looked at my long weekend in September and said, "Why not?" I looked up tickets and they are cheap! I'm doing this... I'm going to Japan. I'm also going by myself... Yikes!

Writing A.D.D.

I have been working on three story ideas for grad school. They are still in the beginning. I write notes some sentences here and there then work on a little outline. They are decent ideas, and I do need to turn in three stories to Iowa. I wish I could just focus on one, but I must do three. This should be good and then for my other schools I have three to choose from to send in... Wait a minute... That could be good or bad thing... hahaha.

Now, I have a bigger problem. It all started with a dream I had about two nights ago. It was very interesting. I thought about it all day and now it is turning into a story. A more exciting story and a story that can't be less than 30 pages. Also I'm sure that grad schools wouldn't want it...

So today that was what I was working on. I'm hoping I'll just put down enough notes so I can just come back to it later in November after I sent in my other stories. Or I guess it could be good to work on a fantasy/zombie book to distract me from the stress. It is good practice anyway. This could help the other stories in the long run. It is much more fun to write about water zombies... heehee.

It really doesn't change... ha

So I've been feeling really proud of myself with the whole VIP lunch thing. Since I wasn't looking forward to 30 minutes of me asking questions and getting one word answers I solved the problem. Lets play a game and talk at the same time! It worked great the kids got into the game and we were able to talk a bit and it wasn't awkward... or so I thought.

I have learned when a teacher comes to talk to me 10 minutes before it is time for me to leave it means trouble. So she comes in and tells me that the principal asked a few students how they like the VIP lunch. They said the game was fun but they wanted more chances to talk... ummmm...

Mayyyyyybe if I was a new teacher I would try something else... haha, but this is the same complaint I get over and over. They want more opportunities to talk with me. I. Am. Tired. Of. This.

I tell my classes at least once a week that I am always in my office after school 4 hours of nothing. I tell them "Come and see me!" Do they? No.

Also they don't talk. Even while we play a game. I ask them questions and some just giggle behind their hand. The don't talk. They want to talk to me?! THEN SAY SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is the same story over and over. Do they realize that if they want to talk they have to talk? Do they know I have over 400 students and I can't just pick a few myself? They have to make an effort. Everything is always done for them. It is time for them to grow up a bit.

Now instead of having fun small talk I have to sit with them and try and make them talk. Ugh longest 30 minutes ever.

My co teacher said, "Just ask them what their dream is." Yeah thanks co teacher... That fills up a whole minute.

Also why is it that when a few complain we listen? Why didn't the principal go with the other students? You can't make everyone happy.

Green light... Go! Red light... Stop?

From viewing facebook and other status updates from people in Korea... I have seen one thing mentioned a lot more than others... The Bus.

When I was a young fresh faced American who had just got to Korea I got on my first bus... Oh I mean to say I staggered onto my first bus since the bus started to move before I even sat down. I sat wide eyed and in my head all I could think was "I'm going to die. I'm going to die on a bus. No, we are going to kill someone. I will be part of a murder" As the bus rocked and rolled like a roller coster. I got a bit sick. As the bus ran through the red lights I frantically turned my head to see if any cars would hit us. At the end of the ride I had to wobble over to the door while the bus was still moving so I could get out the INSTANT the bus stopped...

Now...
This morning as I smiled with glee as my awesome bus driver ran about 10 red light. He sped down the turn lanes (not planning to turn just using it to get ahead of the cars). I would cheer in my head when he honked at a car who was in front of us. I'd glare when he stopped at a red light. What is he doing? Red lights aren't for stopping!

This morning I realised that when I go back to America I might have some problems in traffic.

Banana Runts

I have been reading another blog about a girl in Korea and I love the way she states things. It is very entertaining. Sometimes I wish I could write like her and be able to make every story in my life a funny/interesting one. I guess it is a bit easier here with the different cultures clashing, but I find that I tend to rush out the story so I can get to the punch line, so everyone can enjoy the story too... However, you need the story and not just the ending... Reading over my writing I can tell where I really enjoyed writing a part and where I rushed something to just get to the next one... The solution... To LOVE all the parts! ha yeah... I'll work on that.

To tell a little story about how things are going at my new school I will introduce you to my new coteachers. Who are fresh and wide-eyed out of college. They are looking to me to know what is going on and I have told them many a time that I'm the last person who knows anything. I just make up my own rules and that has been working wonderously :D. They don't agree. One teacher I will call Sunny and the other Young.

Sunny has somehow lost a game of rock scissors paper and is the teacher in charge of me. I did ask if she lost with Young and she insisted that it was assigned... Yeah Sunny like I'm falling for that one ;). She is really fun to tease and poor thing is an easy target which just gets me going. I wish I wasn't like that and that I wouldn't tease those easy targets, but IT IS JUST TOO GOOD. I don't even have to try hard...

Sunny: This is peach ice tea you can make it.
Me: Just add water?
Sunny: Yes, a little hot water to mix then some cold.
Me: Then it is warm tea not ice...

Then she looks at my serious face (which is the key) and I give her a few seconds and laugh. "Oh you stop tease me!"

Maybe I should say that even the littlest bit of sarcasim gets lost here and it can be either fun or annoying, but right now I'm having fun with it. All in all Sunny is a good soul and I feel bad for her already with having to put up with me.

Young is interesting she is the same age as me, but I feel like she is much older. She always comes into my office (first takes a look at my computer screen ;) )and plans the lessons (big change for my old school and a nice one). She likes to stay and talk with me, but after awhile it gets awkward cause I have nothing else to say... Well I have things to say, but not things I want the whole school to know. They aren't bad things, but when you tell one korean you tell them all and it is weird having someone come up to you the next day and mention a conversation that you had with someone else. It is weird and I don't like it. So I keep conversations to the bare minimum and I don't really say much of interest... However.

Korean co teacher: You get lonely sometimes?
Me: Yeah around Christmas I guess. It was hard last year.
KCT: Ah I see

Next day

Young: You are really lonely.
Me: Huh?
Young: KCT said you are lonely.
Me: Oh yeah... Christmas...

Now the hot topic is my dog Casanova... hahaha. I am interesting. Didn't you know?

So many reasons to smile!

Last week was looooooooooooooooooooong... It wasn't good it wasn't bad it was blah. Last week I kept saying that I just need to get to the next one and I was right, it is Monday (the worst day in the world) and I am having a good one and here are the reasons....

1. All of a sudden the 5th graders have been little angels... I don't know why and I won't question it. The first two weeks they were like the walking dead. Now they are excited about class and they want to take part in everything... Even writing pratice. I didn't think it would keep going, but today is my dreaded 5th grade day and even I had fun... Now that is a reason so smile!

2. They are canceling my VIP lunch and instead I meet with them after lunch time and we will talk and play games. I like this better because.... I get overtime for this since it is class-like and I don't have to try and make conversation in a loud dinning hall. Also we get snacks ;). Now that is a reason to smile!

3. I'm going to America in July. I really can't wait. Yes yes I love Korea, but it is AMERICA... I love America... Call me a dork or whatever or a evil consumer hahah I don't really care. I am going to eat Qdoba and it will be awesome. I will see my mom and dad and my awesome family. Then I get to see my friends. Now that is a reason to smile!

4. In my GRE cards I have a small small stack of words I already know ;). hahahaha now that is a reason to smile!

5. I have a room to myself in the school. For now it is empty and not a soul is in here. This is great for me. When I finish my lesson plans I won't feel guilty about reading or studying. Now that is a reason to smile.

6. There is a great friend that I have here in Korea. I am ashamed to say I haven't been the best friend to her lately. She calls me on it and I can only hope to get better. Now that is a reason to smile!

7. I have had Kalguksu/Shabu Shabu 2 times in two weeks and I'm eating it again tonight! Now THAT it is a reason to smile!

8. I have my own computer at the school and it has internet! NOW THAT IS A REASON TO SMILE!!!!

There are many more so this Monday is a bit different from others. This week is already better and last week is done. I don't need to think about it anymore, but move forward keeping my reasons close :).


Now it is your turn to smile!